21 things you’ll know to be true if you grew up in an Italian-Australian family

3 min read
Looking for Alibrandi Beyond Distribution/Fandango

Oh, Dio 

1. You’re related to about 27 women named Maria.

And if it's not Maria it's Maria-Angela or Anna-Maria.

Maria West Side Story.gif

2. Teachers never knew how to pronounce your surname properly during school. 

It was such an awkward display you’d eventually just accept whatever version they came up with. 

Come to think of it, that doesn’t really end with school... 

3. You KNOW the wooden spoon is more than just a cooking utensil. 

Breaking Bad gif

4. At some stage in your life, you’ve worn a gold chain with a religious medallion attached to it. 

5. Sunday dinners with Nonna and Nonno are compulsory. But it also means you'll get a week’s worth of food, so you don’t really mind. 

Everybody loves raymond Food .gif

6. Italian guilt is very real and it can make you do whatever your family wants. 

“I’ll be dead soon.”

7. Your Nonna is the sweetest lady on the planet, but she also has the ability to serve brutal insults like she does cannoli.

“You get a bit fat, no?”

8. As a teen, you were allowed to do approximately one-quarter of the things your cool, non-Italian friends were able to. 

No sleepovers at friends' houses until you're 35. 

9. “I’m full” always translates to “I don’t like your food”

Just save yourself the hassle and finish it, mate. 

The Nanny crying

10. It's assumed that you'll end up with another Italian. 

11. Growing up, everyone you knew lived within a five-kilometre radius.

And 50% of those people were relatives because you have about 1,500 cousins. 

12. You know someone who can get rid of the evil eye for you… 

13. When you tell people you’re Australian, they often respond with, “Yeah, but where are you really from?”  

No, I don't look like Lara Worthington. Yes, I'm still an Aussie. 

14. No-one can cook like your Nonna… she told you so. 

"Giuseppina tried to make my biscuits and she did a good job... she just doesn't do them like I do."

15. You’re expected to turn up to tomato day, even though you know your Nonni won’t let you actually do anything. 

If you're lucky, you'll get to put the lids on the bottles. 

16. As a teen, if you were out for the afternoon you’d receive about 45 texts from your mum. 

"Who are you with?"

"What are you doing?"

"When are you coming home?"

17. Your Nonna has a “good” bathroom and lounge room for guests, she leaves the plastic coverings on her couch and keeps fancy dining sets in a cabinet just in case the Queen comes past. 

No, you don't count as a guest. 

18. No one in your family has an “inside voice” everyone yells everything, all the time. 

19. Your family owns glasses that look something like this. 

20. You've seen a game of briscola turn into to an all-in brawl. 

21. Christmas-time always means one thing: a year's worth of panettone is coming your way. 

Image: Beyond Distribution/Fandango, United Artists, CBS, Tristar Television, Sony, Disney, Facebook

Written By Stephanie Nuzzo

BRB need to have a quick shop.

“So how long have you been submerged?”

Fido never looked so good.