Best of the Web
Sangeeta Kocharekar
Wednesday, February 24, 2016 - 20:22

Oi, these are the most bogan baby names of 2016

AWKWARD BABY

We love a good round-up list, especially a round-up list of the best bogan names of 2016.

In 2014, writer Sabrina Rogers-Anders from Kidspot.com.au published her list of top bogan baby names.

Australia’s reaction? Complete meltdown as everyone everywhere bashed Sabrina for what she now calls “being a big meanie”.

Sabrina reaction? She retired the list for a year, but in 2016, Sabrina said “nah, mate” to the h8ers, and decided to publish round two. So, without further ado, here are the most bogan names this year in alphabetical order because Sabrina is that organised. 

CAN CRUSH

"ARYAN. ‘K, this is awkward. You do know about Hitler and his white supremacist ideology, right? Well, in case you missed it, he referred to his ideal white-washed race as the “Aryan race”. Still so sure you want to bestow this name upon your son? (The one completely acceptable exception is if you’re from Iran, where it’s a popular name meaning “warrior”.)"

BLADE.

BROGAN. 

"DAXON. Whyyyy must we continue to treat the English language like a public urinal? 'Oh, I’ll just whack these letters together and that’ll be my kid’s name! It’s so original!' Made-up names such as this one make me very poblizified. What? It means “angry”. I made it up."

IZAAK

JATHON.

J’ZAYDEN.

BOGAN KID

KHODII.

MACSEN. 

ZABRYN.

"BEAUTIFUL. I understand that you think your child is the most exquisite creature under the sun, but you can’t just go and name her BEAUTIFUL. The French version, Belle, will do nicely, as will the Italian variation, Bella. But straight-up Beautiful? NO."

BRAELYN.

CHERYLDINE.

"D’NYELL. A random apostrophe AND an appalling misspelling of an ordinary name all wrapped up into one tight little bogan package! I think I can retire now."

EVER. 

ENIVID.

KYLY. 

McKYLA. 

TRUELY. 

"YOUNIQUE. I have to give props to Younique’s parents. Most of the other entries on this list are thinly veiled attempts at grabbing people’s attention with their originality. Well, Younique’s mum and dad didn’t mess around – they took the words YOU ARE UNIQUE, chewed them up and spat them out onto their kid. No fake subtlety there. Bravo!"

So erm, we won't be naming ours kids any of these then.